Riffing On The Times 7-3-06

As always, the headlines are taken directly from The New York Times, and the sub-heads are entirely made up.

Roberts Is at Court's Helm, but He Isn't Yet in Control - Chief Justice now wants to be referred to as "Chief Justice of The Supreme Executive" to more accurately reflect his position on the court.

Car Bomb Kills More Than 60 in Iraq Market : Tragedy clears way for new Baghdad Wal Mart which promises to supply U.S. soldiers and locals with much needed helmet-liners and body armor "at a globally competitive price".

Hiring Federal Lobbyists, Towns Learn Money Talks: Abramof scandal tips-off ambitious locals who lag behind Washington learning-curve.

Israeli Airstrike Over Gaza Hits Premier's Office: Jewish State denies Hamas' recent democratic victory has anything to do with "unfortunate accident that occurred in the course of Israeli soldier kidnapping investigation." Says missiles expedite the process of exposing potential hiding places.

Mexican Vote Hinges on Conflicted Middle Class: Class fears exporting of unskilled labor to United States will create dearth of underpaid servants in their own country.

Last Stop, Lhasa: Rail Link Ties Remote Tibet to China : Buddhist Monks respond "There goes the neighborhood."