Sudra's Incredible Shrinking World

Speaking of my Non-Adventurous Life (title of this blog), it seems the older I get the more my world shrinks. I have no friends anymore; anybody I find even remotely interesting moves away or has no use for my presence in their lives. Even adding my two cents on this blog seems completely empty and meaningless. Nobody cares what I think and, conversely, I don't really care what anybody else thinks about the foibles of political charletains and the pop-curio of the week. If there's one thing I've learned, it's how to waste vast amounts of time.

The whole human experience just seems like a perpetual muddle to me anymore, so I think I'll turn my attention inward. There's really nothing for me out here anymore, but perhaps a reflection of my inner life, a digital mirror to turn to now and again for.......I don't know. Just for amusement, I guess.


If, when and until a shred of optimism shakes me out of this mood, adieu.

Foley Cites Alcoholism as Cause....kinda.

According to the New York Times, disgraced congressional Republican, Mark Foley, checked himself into a rehab clinic to treat his “alcoholism and related behavioral problems.” Apparently the congressman's lawyer cites Foley's hidden alcoholism as a cause for his latest problems and the loss of his job. 'Mr. Foley’s lawyer, David Roth, said that Mr. Foley had sent the inappropriate e-mail messages while under the influence of alcohol and that he had kept his drinking problem secret.'

Personally, I don't think it's his taste for a drink that people have a problem with (that's still a socially acceptable failing for a congressman), it's his taste for teenage boys as chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children.

Ugh. The hypocrisy. Every speech he ever gave in that job is going to come back to haunt him.

Riffing On The Times 10.2.06

As always, the headlines are taken right from NYT but the sub-heads are made-up.


TOP STORIES:

Roberts Court May Be Defined in Second Term - Liberals bend over while conservatives unzip.

Former Pages Describe Foley as Caring Ally - Convgressman offered back rubs, movie tickets, iPods and more to teenage boys "Just to break the ice".

Global Sludge Ends in Tragedy for Ivory Coast - Corporate Oil dumps toxic waste on "Mud People".

WORLD:

Fatal Clashes in Gaza Over Unpaid Salaries - U.S. and Israeli boycotts and forfetures have intended effect on struggling democracy.

Embattled Brazil Incumbent Fails to Win First-Round Ballot -Platform of social justice and clean government has proven to be a loser with Global Corporations and their hentchmen at Choice Point.

Serbia Asserts Its Sovereignty Over Kosovo in Legislation - Here we go again...

US:

A Farmer Fears His Way of Life Has Dwindled Down to a Final Generation - Global AgriCorps offer him and his spawn jobs as marketing props for their "Fresh Harvest" campaign.

Wait Ends for Father and Son Exiled by F.B.I. Terror Inquiry - U.S. allows their re-entry as second-class citizens.

Wal-Mart to Add More Part-Timers and Wage Caps - Rumors of employees with affordable health insurance and clean shelter snaps Board of Directors into action.

I'm a Uniter, Not a Divider, You F***ing Democrats!

Yesterday, on the television, I heard my president use the phrase "Cut 'N Run Democrats" to describe Americans who have the audacity to want and end to a war on Iraq in the guise of pursuing a "war on terror" (before that it was to "spread Democracy", before that it was a need for "regime change", and before that an imminent threat of a "mushroom cloud" and "weapons of mass distruction" - pardon me if I don't believe your motives this time). What immediately came to mind is the speech in which our president says "I'm a uniter, not a divider."

Sigh. No, sir, you are a hypocrite and a liar and I've never been more ashamed of my country.

Shit-Slinging and Assymetric Warfare

Two things seem pretty evident this week; neither the war on terror (which, I like to remind everybody, is a tactic - not an enemy) or the culture war between liberals and conservatives is getting any better. In both cases, things continue to get much worse.

The leaking of a six-month old National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) that concluded we're creating more terrorists than we're getting rid of, the mutiny of U.S. military Generals against Donald Rumsfeld, and current conditions (thousands of sectarian murders) on the ground are irrefutable evidence that, for whatever reason, Iraq is falling apart and we can't seem to make it work. We need a new plan - either win the hearts and minds of everyday Iraqis with overwhelming generosity and goodwill, block by block if need be, or blow those hearts and minds acrosss the desert in a full-on genocide. Anything less than those two extremes will result in a long, painful and expensive quagmire that will cost thousands of American lives, hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars and any credibility we ever had in the world. Most people seem to agree that our current "strategy" (whatever that is) is unrealistic and unsustainable. Anyway, enough of my blather, please read this fascinating articla about Assymetric Warfare on DKosopedia. Conservative or Liberal, I think you'll find it interesting.

And we're more hotly divided in this country than we ever have been in my memory. Its evident in the lack of courtesy and decorum on the the shit-slinging that takes place on so-called "talk" shows and website forums, both liberal and conservative. Nobody seems to be trying to understand the arguments on the other side, most seem content to call the other names. We belittle and dismiss one another reflexively. If there was anything good to come out of 9/11, its that those differences disappeared for a very short while and we all pulled together. Too bad it takes that kind of disaster to remind us we're all on the same team.

Half-Cocked And Ready To Fight

Yesterday I left a nasty comment on the blog of a Harvard Economics Professor who was arguing against the federal minimmum wage laws and somewhat in favor of the Earned Income Tax Credit (but only as a last resort). A litany of supportive comments followed his article, most championing the conservative wisdom of a professor who resides within maybe one of the most powerful learning institutions in America.

His blog was actually in response to who he called "misguided students" who marched in support of a living wage for so-caleed "unskilled" staff on the Harvard campus. Because of Harvard's vast endowment, which would easily allow the school to afford such a move, the professor argued that it would be artificial and, overall, a bad message for business in American and bad move for our economy.

I went off on him.

Not because I'm qualified to argue with a Harvard economics professor, (I'm just a pseudo-intellectual, community-college drop-out) but because I'm a hothead and I'm tired of people so far removed from the struggle for working-class Americans making decisions that so profoundly affect them - especially when they're never experienced the day-to-day lives of the working poor. In other words, men in ivory towers shouldn't talk about how $10.51 an hour (in Boston no less - you try and survive on that, mother-fucker ) is too much money. Especially when the benefactors of current economic policies are enjoying such an overabundance of profit made with the blessing of George The Younger. It's extremely offensive to some of us.

Let's face it, the rich rely on the sweat of the working poor - always have, always will. Fine, theat's an economic hierarchy that will never change - at least not as long as humans control the resources. But don't think you can rationalize that injustice in public without risk of getting a virtual tomato smashed upside your insulated Harvard melon. There's a whole lot of us out here who are pissed-off about our fading prosperity while fat-cat Harvard-educated MBA's look for new and complicated ways to screw us out of the meager wages we get.

Anyway, I'm kind of afraid to even go back to that website. I'm sure I'm getting throttled on every side by conservatives who think I'm not qualified to argue the point, missed the point completely, don't understand the point, or otherwise am not worthy of being scraped off the bottom of their right wingtips. But, I must retrieve my comments for posterity...


Well, you’ve answered for me how our so-called “leaders” become so out of touch with their working-class constituents. You talk about the economics of the working poor as if their circumstance were merely the natural order of the universe, and that your access to an Ivy League education and a brilliant career were a birthright. Don't talk to me about what a unskilled labor is worth until you've at least "walked the walk" like Ehrenreich did. She's a liberal, and it sent her running for the sanctuary of her own priveleged life. What’s lacking from this conversation is a sense of humility and any attempt at finding humanity in economics - which works out so well for those at the top. I can't believe there's an argument about whether a working-class gig at Harvard is worth $10.00 bucks an hour? Who deciides? Unfortunately, you do. And you’ll spend years arguing why the very least among you don't deserve enough money for a clean place to live and insurance against a medical disaster. I never hear a serious discussion about the social cost of a company pulling a $100,000,000,000 out of an economy in a single year while their employees are eating Ramen noodles bought with food stamps and wonder if that pain they feel in their gut is from poor nutrition or stomach cancer. Their choice is to work for that company, or the other national behemoth down the street who offer the exact same lack of wages and benefits. If there is any justification for a minimum wage in America, then there must be justification for a maximum profit as well. If there isn’t, then I hope you’re all be prepared for the social cost that stress and status anxiety will bring to your doorstep. Will you chase those lowly souls back across the bridge by force or will you foolishly ask, “Why do they hate us so much?”

Always Impressed by Conservative Blame-Gamers

It seems the conservatives have finally smartened up and realized that, "Hey, with all our money and political connections we should be the ones re-writing history for the hoi polloi. It's all Clinton's fault!"

I'm referring of course to the reported revisionist history of "The Path To 9/11" a docu-drama to be aired on ABC that reportedly will squarely place the blame for the attack on the Clinton administration (conservatives are still blaming Clinton even though they've controlled all three branches of government for six years - and just in time for the election!) Never mind that Bill Clinton actually ordered attacks on Bin Laden's terror camps and blew up an aspirin-factory in the Sudan in an attempt to hurt Al Queda. Never mind that President Bush and his cabal ignored a PDB entitled "Bin Laden Determined To Strike WIthin The U.S." Don't even get me started on how that cabal abused actual intelligence to sell the Iraq war to a gullible and vulnerable public. Bush wasn't worried about Bin Laden because he was too busy giving massive tax cuts to his already bloated billionaire friends - I'm sorry, I mean his base.

Check out the inside story about the solidly right-wing creators of "The Path To 9/11" at The Huffington Post"

Interested in the Clinton Conspiracy side instead? Check out The Greatest Jeneration.

The culture war is still raging on with the full support of a president who laughably declared he was a "uniter, not a divider".

Who knows, maybe we'll have a red state/blue state civil war of our own some day. We're on the verge of drawing eachother's blood in this country like the Sunnis and the Shia.

Five Years After 9/11

Five years after we were attacked by Al Queda, Osama Bin Laden is still at large, the former World Trade Center is still a hole in the ground and we've pissed away almost half a trillion dollars in Iraq. Somebody is getting really, really rich from all this while continuous electricity and clean water are still a rarity in that country. Sad.

I said it then, and I'll say it now - I can't believe we invaded Iraq. I blame George Bush, Paul Wolfowitz, Dick Cheney, Don Runsfeld, Condo-Leaser Rice and Colin Powell - I blame Powell for not having the decency to resign before they made him lie to us. A good soldier till the very end. Perhaps it's time to retire that sidearm, sir.

Oh, and I blame CONGRESS -for ignoring your oversight DUTY to the AMERICAN PEOPLE. You're all fired.

I remember standing in my kitchen, my jaw on the floor, while the president announced his plans for "the war on terror". We have about as much a chance of winning the "war on terror" as we do "the war on drugs". Terrorism is an intelligence matter - always was, always will be. You can say you're fighting a "war" on terror - but it's a lie. Wars are for nation/states. You can take a military action against terrorists - but you can't fight a war on a tactic. It's all bullshit. Smedley Butler is turning in his grave.

But even five years after 9/11- 43% of Americans still believe the War On Iraq had something to do with 9/11. Sad. Now the Republicans are singing the same song in this electioin cycle. Are most people still that gullible? Probably.

Productivity Continues To Rise, Wages Continue To Fall

The New York Times reported that wages have fallen to their lowest point relative to productivity since they began taking data in 1947. But P.Bush, always the delusional optimist (which is nicer than calling him an outright liar) stated recently that "Things are good for the American Worker." A NYTimes Editorial said that comment was "preposterous".

My job review's coming up soon. Somehow I bet my boss will try to sell me on the idea that, for the fifth year in a row, I don't need a raise that keeps pace with inflation. Instead I get a 5yr pin, a company party, and the assurance that I should be so lucky to have a job in this economy.. Think of all those poor auto workers. Meanwhile, a large deposit is made somewhere in the Cayman Islands.....


Toil and Toil Til You Burst a Bubble
in your stress-addled brain, that's what you'll get for your trouble.

Random Revolutionary Thoughts

Business Entitlements Are Costing Michigan Too Much

My Republican-controlled state legislature (with the help of that old-school fat cat Oakland County Executive L. Brooks Patterson) decided to do an end-run around our Democratic governor and repealed the state's Single Business Tax (SBT) last week. You see, the Governor vowed to veto the bill unless there was a viable plan to replace the $2,000,000,000 in state revenue it produced -especially at a time when our state's economy is suffering from corporate outsourcing and auto-related factory closures (there's no such thing as patriotism when it comes to your profit, eh boys?). It's common sense right? Just like a real person wouldn't quit their job unless they had another one lined up first, or at least was operating at a comfortable surplus. It's the RESPONSIBLE thing to do. But it's not the Repubican thing to do.

Our Fearless Leader (Blustering, Bumbling, Blundering Bush) has shown our state Republicans (by example) that just because you don't have a viable plan for the future doesn't mean you can't charge ahead and spend as much as you like - especially if YOU ALREADY GOT YOURS. It seems to be the Republicans job to dump as much of the tax burden on the working class as possible, then wait for a Democratic politician to come along and clean up the scattered debris of failed Republican economic policies - like the disaster left by another old-school fat cat, Governor John Engler. Businesses now feel ENTITLED to massive tax breaks to stay in or come to any particular state- regardless of how much or how many of that state's resources they use while pursuing a profit. They just pass the tax burden onto the little guy. Somehow, I doubt it will be any different this time.

Someday soon, without a living wage, without any health-care, without overtime, a pension, or a single pot to piss in - we'll be coming to your gated communities by the busload and knocking on your mahogany & leaded glass doors to collect our share of your tax-free windfalls. When we do, you'd better hope the local police department got their millage increase.

The Hunting Of The President

I just got done watching The Hunting of The President on DVD. It's a documentary that tells the story of the six-year, $70,000,000 debacle that started as a alleged real estate malfeasance (for which the Clintons were completely exonerated) and ended in several friends being abused and/or jailed by the special prosecutor for what would ultimately prove to be a failed attempt to impeach President Clinton for lying about a extramarital affair - a subject for his religious or marriage counselor perhaps, but hardly worth the time, money and resources of the U.S. taxpayers - however salacious their appetites.

My quick review is that the movie serves as an fairly thorough account of the dirty tricks and the dirty players involved in the "vast right-wing conspiracy" (which proves to be pretty much just as the First Lady alleged). It focuses mostly on whitewater, the Arkansas connections and Susan McDougal - who chose two years in jail over lying for the so-called independent council. The producers would have done well, however, to avoid the menacing soundtrack that served as a backdrop throughout most of the film because it only cheapens the seriousness of the subject matter - the abuse of power by, not The President, but the right-wing politicos who used every dirty trick they could purchase with your hard-earned tax dollars to defame him.

But the real cream of this DVD is not so much the film itself (though it serves the story well) but the comments of President Bill Clinton himself in the special features, shot on stage at the film's debut. It made me realize what a truly brilliant man and gifted speaker Bill Clinton is, and by contrast what an empty vessel and dim-witted tool we have in the White House now.

In his thought provoking and historically contextualized comments, Clinton transcended even my unabashed cynicism and gave me hope for our country when I thought there could be none. He reminded me that, however badly I might want revenge for the bullshit the neo-cons and Federalist Society demons have put us through, that we're not them and it does nothing to serve the greater good of our country. Eventually, and despite them, we'll forge ahead and make progress. History demands it.

Clinton is way smarter than I ever gave him credit for while he was president - and boy do I miss him now. We should all miss him now. Despite his very banal and human failings, he's truly a fair and decent man and history will undoubtedly vindicate him. This film is a good start.

Think I'm Nuts? I'm In Good Company...

Read The Constitution In Crisis; Final Investigative Report of the House Judiciary Committee Democratic Staff. Introduction by one of my congressional homeboys, a proud member of former President Nixon's enemies list. He calls it the "Minority Report" - how appropriate, culturally speaking.

Neo-Con Fasci-Nation

I'm constantly amazed at how different our country is from the one I learned about in school. Everything I was raised to believe about the Good 'Ole USA has been turned on its head.

• I was raised to believe that if you worked hard and obeyed the rules, you would never be homeless or hungry in America.
  
• I was raised to believe that a "pension fund" was a binding contractual obligation created to help a dedicated and loyal employee retire after years of hard work.
  
• I was raised to believe in "overtime" and the 40-hour work week- and remember the courageous working-class Americans who fought and sacrificed to secure those rights for us.
  
• I was raised to believe that taxes were meant to "promote the general welfare" as well as provide for the uncommonly huge defense budget.
  
• I was raised to believe you should pay your bills on time and avoid burying yourself in mountains of debt.
  
• I was raised to believe that the U.S. was good and righteous and promoted equality and fair play both here and abroad.
  
• I was raised to believe that the tyranny of the majority couldn't happen in America because the built-in checks and balances in our constitutional democracy wouldn't allow it.
  
• I was raised to believe in the Bill Of Rights.
  
• I was raised to believe that science was apolitical.
  
• I was raised to believe there were good reasons our founders emphasized the seperation of church and state.
  
• I was raised to believe a "free and unfettered press" was an integral part of keeping a constitutional democracy healthy.
  
• I was raised to belive that our government was created "of the people, by the people and for the people".
  
• I was raised to believe no American was above or beyond the law, not even The President of The United States.
  
• I was raised to believe cheaters could never be winners.
  
  

Thanks to the shameless governance of extremist neo-cons who have been ruining the U.S. for the past six and a half years, I now realize my elementary and naive illusions about America were completely and utterly false.

I hold this truth to be self-evident: that it's every man, woman and child for himself in America - the rules be damned.

Riffing On The Times 7-21-06

As always, the heads are taken directly from NYTimes Online while the sub-heads are entirely made-up.


From Carnage in Lebanon, a Concession - Israel Agrees to Lie to Secretary Of State Condo-lease-a Rice if she agrees get on a plane headed back to the U.S.

A Night of Death and Terror for Lebanese Villagers - Courtesy of Secretary of State Condo-lease-a Rice's Imaginary 48 Hour Cease Fire

U.S. Puts Onus on Employers of Immigrants - Govt. To Business: If you want cheap labor you can abuse with impunity, you'll have to go to the trailer parks and inner cities just like everybody else.

Israel Suspending Lebanon Air Raids After Dozens Die - Just kidding, they're going to keep bombing the shit out of women, children, old folks and those meddlesome UN peacekeepers in hopes of hitting a "terrorist".

A Small Charity Takes the Reins in Fighting a Neglected Disease - Discarded, unprofitable "cure" saved from pharmaceutical trash bin by humans who are actually concerned with the well being of other humans without requiring an obscene profit. Though increasingly rare, they do still exist.

Leftist Plans Sit-Ins to Challenge Mexico Vote - Mexicans show Americans how to behave when your election has been stolen by
right wing extremists with the help of an American company (i.e. ChoicePoint).

**** Learn More About ChoicePoint****


Passing Down the Legacy of Conservatism - Though beer bongs, ass-paddling and hate crimes are favored among young Republicans, mysoginism, racism and jingoism are preferred by elders. All, however, belive in their divine right to loot the U.S. treasury to fund their own private interests.

Cute, Stinky and Beached, Seals Cause a Squabble - Navy elite force looking for Lebanese "beachfront" found sweaty and confused on California shoreline. Leader overheard cursing "that Goddamn Rumsfeld has done it to us again!"

Good Times In Bizzarro World

So let me get this straight: It's not okay to do research on discarded human embryos to find cures to diseases that afflict actual human beings the world over, but it's okay to let your good frat buddy (let's call him Lahaim) bomb the shit out of innocent men, woman and children in hopes that he might kill his sworn enemy in the process?

Hey, remember back in fascist school when Lahaim drove a bulldozer over that little white American girl who tried to show the Palestinians how to stage a peaceful protest in Gaza? Now what was her name? Rachel something, wasn't it? What a hoot. I bet she never expected that from a close ally of the United States! Didn't someone get pictures of the whole thing? Yeah, I think the Palestinians have pictures too. Boy, Lahaim showed her who's boss, eh?. We're going to put that one on the Republicans Party's Top Ten Ways To Dispose of A Liberal.

(excuse me while I vomit)

Learn More About Rachael Corrie's Murder by the IDF at www.rachelcorrie.org/news.htm

Living in early 21st Century America is like being trapped in Bizzarro World with your alcoholic father.

The Opressed Are Now The Opressors

I think the Jews might have caught some kind of evil virus in Germany back in the 40's. I don't know anytthing else that might explain their capacity for killing.

And the stong shall continue to subjugate the weak.

Princess Behemoth Gets Tipsy

Good GOD! I've never seen anything on the ocean as big as the Princess Cruise ship that tipped when its rudder malfunctioned. Are they sure it didn't tip because it's the size of an office building? Maybe it was due to all the fat-cats sitting pretty in the penthouse.

Sharpen Your Fork

I just got done watching Democrats on CSPAN show me how for the past six years I've been financing tax cuts for people who make ten times what I make, and I still only owe a measly $28,000 to pay my share of the runaway national debt. Oh, and my wife owes $28,000 as well. And my kid too. Boy the Republicans can really stick it to the working class when they control all three branches of government, eh? So much for fiscal conservatism.

So while I continue to whine from my computer, the'yre looting my social security, energy and healthcare costs are skyrocketiing and our folly in the Middle East continues to add exponentially to our debt. With all that going on, I wonder how I'm going to survive America in my golden years.

I guess I'll just have to sharpen my fork and EAT THE RICH.

With Overwhelming Force, Israel Bombs Lebanon Into the Stone Age

I'm having a bit of trouble believing that Israel's massive bombing of Lebanon has anything to do with two kidnapped soldiers. This seems very much like a pre-planned devastation of the entire country - as evidenced by Israel's bombing of a Lebanese army base and other actions taken far from Sothern Lebanon. It will take decades to re-build Lebanon. Maybe that's their plan - if the Lebanese are busy rebuilding, they'll be less likely to cause Israel trouble.

But Israel has gone much farther than anyone expected. Are they trying to elicit a response from Syria and Iran? Or are they just causing as much damage to their enemies as they can before the world speaks up.

What no one in the major media is asking is, how many times did the Israelis violate the so-called Blue Line in the past ten years? Why do the Israelis have so many Palestinians and Lebanese prisoners? And why was a prisoner swap ok in the recent past but now prompts the overwhelming devastation of civilian infrastructure in Lebanon?

I guess if I want to be a good American I'm not supposed to ask those questions, but there it is.

The "Shit" Heard 'Round The World

CNN is treating the president's "shit" like it was made of gold. The expletive was caught when the president was having what he thought was a relatively private conversation with the British Prime Minister at a G8 luncheon (or was it dinner - who gives a "shit").

Now, I'm no friend of the president, but the last time I checked it was just plain rude to eavesdrop on someone's conversation - and then to publicize said conversation around the world and treat it like an exclusive is just plain juvenile.

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT Syria needs to tell Hizbollah to knock that SHIT off!

Will that get me on CNN too? What if I said "fuck"?

Sometimes "the media" is just as stupid as "they" say it is.

CNN going to hell

Glenn Beck is the worst thing to happen to CNN since.....since........Ok, he's the worst thing to ever happen to CNN. It's such a shameless grab for the FOX news market it makes me sad for journalism.

Then you have a top-ten list given by some chick I've never see before (Melissa Long is her name, I've since learned), interrupting Paula Zahn's show with more Celebrity Non News (like the "Friend's Reunion Show").

Yeah, I know. I swore-off CNN months ago - but I want to watch the world unravel in real time so I'll have to settle for the best of the worst.

God I wish PBS had more resources.

Sunnis Now Want Americans To Stay... For Coming War?

The New York Times has reported that Iraqi Sunnis now want American troops to stay to protect them from militant Shiites who've been hunting them down in recent weeks. This is a major change in attitude by the Sunnis who up until recently called for the Americans to leave. Coupled with recent events in Lebanon and Gaza, and the intractable attitude of Iran and Syria when it comes to Israel and their unapologetic ally the U.S., we've got the beginnings of a regional war in the Middle East.

Nice going.

Americans Split on Graphic War Images

The Pew Internet & American Life Project has released a study about how many Americans are seeking out graphic war images online and how some think it's wrong. Wha't surprising is that a majority of households earning over $50k approve of showing graphic images online while those with incomes less that $50K disapprove. It's probably because those earning less than $50k a year are probably twice as likely to have a child show up in one of those gruesome photographs.

Check out the Survey Here.

Personally, I think if you're not willing to show the results of your actions to the world, you probably shouldn't be engaged in that activity in the first place. Immorality is not limited to pornography and abortion. Don't agree? Check out these very graphic pictures from the war in Iraq (CAUTION: Not for the squeamish).

While you can choose to ignore the islamic propaganda on this website, the pictures don't lie. Let's not pretend we don't know what's really happening over there, ok? Yeah, I know, 9/11 - 3000 American lives destroyed by Islamic fundamentalists. Same, same, but where does it end? How many more people have to die violent deaths? How many more mothers, fathers, sons, daughters and children have to suffer unimaginable fates before we feel avenged? 100,000? 200,000? 1,000,000? Are you telling me there's no other way to win the hearts and minds of our enemies other than blasting those hearts and minds all over the walls of their cities? What a crude lack of imagination. It's cave-man consciousness.

As long as we keep thinking like we do, THIS SHIT WILL NEVER END. Let's put our best minds (not those in positions of power or prestige) toward changing this crude and stupid self-destructive behaviour.

Oh, The Yellow Times has been shut down over showing graphic war photos. I wonder if it violates my TOS. Showing the TRUTH OF WAR is worth the risk.

Humanity is Doomed

It occurs to me that war isn't about different cultures, different philosophies, different politics, claims to land, resources or religious convictions. It's really just about man's inability to share what he has with others who need it. It's about brats waving their missles around to show everybody who's boss, king of the hill. Humanity is doomed

Want to impress the planet? Love your enemies so much that they'll do anything to avoid you. Embarass them with lavish, selfless gifts they couldn't possibly return. Create entire Holidays to praise their virtues. Love them and their people in such conspicuous ways they'll give their weapons to you for safe-keeping. There's so much more interesting things you could do with the trillions of dollars spent on machines designed to shred people and property into a disgusting blood-soaked confetti (which, of course, you'll never see on your government-sanitized television screens).

Israel, Hizbollah, U.S., Iran, Hamas, Al Queda - you should all be ashamed of yourselves. Go to your rooms and think about what you've done and don't come out until you can treat your fellow humans with respect.

Ken Lay Down For Good

Though my condolences go out to Ken Lay's family and friends (with the exception of Emperor Bush) and those who actually found some goodness in this blood-thirsty vampire, it's too bad he died before he could be sentenced for his crimes at the helm of the pirate ship Enron. He should have had the time to recieve cards and letters from thousands of people whose lives he ruined. He should have had time to reflect on how he could go from fat cat corporate cheat to a low-life, rat-in-a-cage in such a short amount of time. But there's always Skilling, right? And Copper, and Fastow, and .....

I guess the only thing left to do with Ken Lay is let the prosecutor drive a stake through his heart and cut off his head - just to make sure this evil bastard doesn't haunt the living anymore.

Unfortunately, it seems his sudden death has complicated the process of making reparations to his victims. See the story in The New York Times.

Too Close To Call = Too Close For Comfort

Seems a pattern is emerging in this hemisphere. Conservatives (i.e. Mexican conservatives) have reportedly won the presidential election by the narrowest of margins, according to a Story in LA times. Once I heard the race was "too close to call" yesterday, a familiar shiver ran down up my spine.

I've grown so cynical.

Funny, those close political races seem to quash dissent by their very appearence of authenticity. Man, it was soooo close, but we won in the end. It's a mandate from the people!

Which political leaning, left or right, do you think is more likely to steal? I'd like to see the results of that experiment.

Riffing On The Times 7-3-06

As always, the headlines are taken directly from The New York Times, and the sub-heads are entirely made up.

Roberts Is at Court's Helm, but He Isn't Yet in Control - Chief Justice now wants to be referred to as "Chief Justice of The Supreme Executive" to more accurately reflect his position on the court.

Car Bomb Kills More Than 60 in Iraq Market : Tragedy clears way for new Baghdad Wal Mart which promises to supply U.S. soldiers and locals with much needed helmet-liners and body armor "at a globally competitive price".

Hiring Federal Lobbyists, Towns Learn Money Talks: Abramof scandal tips-off ambitious locals who lag behind Washington learning-curve.

Israeli Airstrike Over Gaza Hits Premier's Office: Jewish State denies Hamas' recent democratic victory has anything to do with "unfortunate accident that occurred in the course of Israeli soldier kidnapping investigation." Says missiles expedite the process of exposing potential hiding places.

Mexican Vote Hinges on Conflicted Middle Class: Class fears exporting of unskilled labor to United States will create dearth of underpaid servants in their own country.

Last Stop, Lhasa: Rail Link Ties Remote Tibet to China : Buddhist Monks respond "There goes the neighborhood."

French-Fried Fools

The other day, my illustrious representative, Thaddeus G. McCotter, was asked on the air his opinion on soccer's ultimate competition, The World Cup. His response? He didn't much care for soccer, other than rooting for the United States and against the French. This coming from a member of the House Committee on International Relations. Ugh. No wonder everybody hates us.

No doubt, he's one of the congressional retards who thought renaming french fries to Freedom Fries was a right and just response to a serious foreign relations problem.

His latest official duty was to submit remarks criticizing H.R. 861 - a useless political resolution desgined by by his own party to circle the wagon and pressure members into declaring their commitment to staying the course in Iraq, regardless of the thousands of American lives it destroys and the hundreds of billions of tax payer's dollars it wastes - and if it embarasses Democrats in the process, all the better.

Unfortunately, McCotter's criticisms about the resolution were that it didn't go far enough in its language. He said that it lacked moral clarity, because it used the word "adversary" instead of "enemy" and so he would be voting "present" instead of voting in the affirmative.

Please tell me we can do better in the 11th district come November.


Curious about McCotter's voting record? Visit the website of McCotter's "enemy" in the coming election: Go to Tony Tripiano's Website


Ola

I'm going to slap the next motherfucker.....

....who uses the phrase "activist judge" or "liberal media" or "cut-'n-run" any other viral catch-phrase or talking-point designed to whip the hoi polloi into a partisan frenzy. I swear. If you're even thinking it, consider my hot palm slamming across your cold cheek. A well-deserved assault.

Congressional Reformatory 2

If republicans in congress want to force meaningless rhetorical votes on the War in Iraq just to make themselves look good, Dems should stop pissing around and hang 'em with every corruption that's oozed out of the storm drains in the last three years. If Democrats can't beat 'em by a vote, they'll just have to keep sending them to prison until they can. Shouldn't be a problem; there seems to be a scum-scraping scandal beneath every raised republican carpet. The real war is in the Capitol building.

Dark days for America. Dark days indeed.


The Iraq War: brought to you by the same retarded monkeys who brought you Nixon, Watergate, and the needless escalation of The Viet Nam War (i.e. Rumsfeld & Cheney - they were THERE). These are the fellas of THE INDUSTRIAL MILITARY COMPLEX that Dwight David Eisenhower tried to warn you about oh so many years ago. These are the same retarded monkeys who created the need for The (Colin) Powell Doctrine - the policy that says, never enter a battle unless you intend to win with overwhelming force. Of course, we know what happened to that 'ole boy, don't we? Rumsfeld sent his ass packing, immasculated by the lies they made him to tell. Poor, 'ole uncle Tom - we could have used a BRAVE soldier on the front lines of the culture war. Maybe that old dog's got some fight in him yet, before the whole country disintegrates into a Uncivil War. We can only hope he has it in him.

little poem

Living two lives
Not committed to either one
In a third that I abandoned
was a God waiting for a son

-sudrakarma

Michigan Legislature Continue to Punish the Poor

The Michigan Legislature has proven once again it can find new ways to punish it's residents with the least economic, political and social power by passing new restrictions on their access to resouce assistance ( Michigan House Bill 4309 ). While designed to punish the supposed bums and welfare queens who game the system, regardless of actual proof of their numbers or existence, the real victims will be the children and disabled adults who will now have to jump through higher hoops while smug state Republicans chide and jeer at them from their luxury suites and enjoy political points from reactionary constituents.

You want to save the state some money? Stop with the tax free giveaways to business. After all, who's using more of our states' limited resources, alleged welfare frauds or seemingly insatiable corporate capitalists?

Do the math.

A waking thought....

Flags are meaningless to the few
who control the wealth and fate of nations

Power is the source of their global pride;
the blood, sweat and tears of the multitudes
just currency - a means to an end.

Will justice ever rise above iniquity
without a jackboot to their powdered necks?

without a pitchfork in their foyer door?

without a revolting demonstration of our dogged determination?

We'll bear our teeth for now,
and growl in the electronic fog
until one day we'll scare them back into their gilded caves
for fear of their very lives
and peace will
be ours
again

for another short little while.

Riffing On The Times 4-11-06

As always, the Headlines are taken directly from NYT online, but the subheads are entirely made-up.

Top Stories:

Immigrants Rally In Scores of Cities for Legal Status

- Make real Americans look lazy and apathetic by comparison.

In France, an Economic Bullet Goes Unbitten

- French youth refuse to eat lead in lieu of cake.

In Attics and Rubble, More Bodies and Questions

- Like, "Who fled the city without cleaning up their mess first?"

World:

Chirac Will Rescind Labor Law That Caused Wide French Riots

- Said he was only kidding about joining the much ballyhooed "Global Economy".

Chinese Turn to Civic Power as a New Tool

- But Japanese sub-compact still no match for Red Army tanks.

Italian National Election Remains Too Close to Call

- Will Silvio Berlusconi win, or will he have to kill his rival?

U.S.:

Moussaoui Jury Hears From Grieving Families, and From Victims Themselves

- Judge rules expletives and death threats valid testimony.

Wrongful Conviction Prompts Detroit Police to Videotape Certain Interrogations

- Will air on "Punk'd" if they get it wrong. "Yo, yo, yo. Just kiddin' dog!"

In End Run Around Legal Challenge, California Gives Out Stem Cell Research Grants

- When you order the double-mocha latte' with a vanilla biscotti before 9 a.m.

Business

Skilling, on the Stand, Implies Fraud Was Unnecessary

- When good old fashioned theft worked out just dandy.

The Long-Distance Journey of a Fast-Food Order

- Happy Meal shot into space to rendezvous with shuttle.

Wal-Mart Promises to Limit Its Banking

- Will stuff billions of dollars into mattress - just in case things go sour in the American economy.

Decoding Dr. Robert's Edu-Speak

In an attempt to understand a recent newsletter sent by my my superintendent of schools, Dr. Robert O'Brien, , I will attempt to deconstruct his Edu-Speak into plain old, cynical, working-class English. You see, when you start making $350,000 a year, you leave the language of the hoi-polloi behind and start speaking in tongues designed to seperate the rubes from their cash. This is especially important when all other jobs in your district are making wage and benefit concessions and you keep getting fat raises.

Dr. Robert's Plan To Attain Focus, Purpose & Direction in our public schools:

1. EDUSPEAK: Successfully complete the Superintendent transition plan. ENGLISH: Secure Golden Parachute with the help of the incoming superintendent. I'm outta here....
   
   
   
2. EDUSPEAK:Successfully integrate Professional Learning Communities (PLCs) in all buildings, including defining and clarifying PLC results for all stakeholders. ENGLISH: Get all the PLCs (also known as "schools") in our district to teach the same things at the same level and then test all students in a way administrators, teachers and students understand what it "means". For example, does Johnny's "A" mean he'll have access to a college education? Hell no! You still need cash and political connections for that. That's what an "A+" means.
   
   
3. EDUSPEAK: Fully implement the contractual student initiatives. ENGLISH: Even though contracts with minors violates state and Federal laws, lets pretend a signed "contract" for thier expected behavior is legal, appropriate, and above all, unquestionable. If they don't live up to our high expectations for a future workforce, punish the little bastards....er, rather, I mean fully implement the contract.
   
   
4. EDUSPEAK: Maintain our excellent financial rating, build a balanced budget for 2006-07 and limit the impact on teaching and learning. ENGLISH: Continue paying the bills on time while somehow managing not to piss off the teachers when you reduce their pay & benefits, try not to piss off the students when you eliminate programs they actually enjoy, and try not to piss off thhe parents when you charge them for things that, until now, were paid solely by their tax dollars. In the meantime, "recommend" to the board that The Superintendent get another fat raise. It's good to be the boss.
   
   
5. EDUSPEAK: Redefine and strengthen the "Challenge of Change" employee involvement program. ENGLISH: Employee pay and benefits are going to be reduced while employee roles and responsibilities are going to be expanded. If you complain, the new security guards will show you to your vehicle. In the meantime, "recommend" to the board that The Superintendent get another fat raise. I'd make twice this amount if I worked for Enron.
   
   
6. EDUSPEAK: Implement the student data system including developing a "dashboard" of options. ENGLISH: I just received a new top-of-the-line Mac with the Tiger operating system and I think it's really, really cool. Why can't our school system be as cool as my new expensive computer? Maybe it can. I could use the dashboard widgets to access student records whenever and wherever I want. (The preceding was a paid PRODUCT PLACEMENT from Apple Computers to Robert O'Brien, Superintendent of Schools - and will be appearing over urinals and in bathroom stalls district-wide.) You know, if I made $600,000 a year, I wouldn't have to be makind side-deals like this. Recommend to The Board I get a raise.
   
   
7. EDUSPEAK: Evaluate and improve our student intervention programs. ENGLISH: Are we doing enough to control the little bastards while they're in school? Give 'em detention if they act up. Failing that, call the cops and prosecute. I'm done screwing around.
   
   
8. EDUSPEAK: Clarify, improve and implement a stronger, more specific internal and external communication process. ENGLISH: Teachers: speak up at the staff meetings or shut the hell up in the teacher's lounge. Oh, and by the way, we have the right to record your conversations in any district building, no matter what your union says. Note to self: crush the union.
   
   
9. EDUSPEAK: Complete the implementation of the International Academy. ENGLISH: Exclude hoi polloi from the priveleged fast track to educastional success and lock the doors behind you. This is what our president calls "pleasing your base". Exclude, divide, discriminate. It's the American Way.
   
   
10. EDUSPEAK: Review our high school curriculum and program offferings. ENGLISH: Find ways to save money while increasing test scores. Recommend to the board The Superintendent get another raise.
    
    
11. EDUSPEAK: Complete district goals at highly successful levels. ENGLISH: Duh.
    
    
    
    

.; )

A LIE THAT JUST WON"T DIE: JOBS THAT AMERICANS WON'T DO

Yesterday I heard THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES repeat a lie about illegal immigrants:"They'll do jobs that Americans just won't do."

THAT'S A LIE THAT KEEPS BEING REPEATED.

At the very least it's a lazy assumption that serves to keep an abundance of cheap labor around to tend rich white people's lawns, care for their children and clean their sheets.

Here's some verifiable proof that white anglo Americans WILL do the jobs that everybody ASSUMES they won't.

MY WHITE ANGLO SISTER, who has a Master's Degree in Fine Art cleans hotels rooms to keep her four children fed. Not too many jobs for fine art majors in Northern Lower Michigan. Now, if she had the educational and social support from her state to get a teaching degree, that would change dramatically. But alas, no extra funds. She'll be paying off her masters degree with "jobs that Americans just won't do" for a very long time, Mr. President.

MY WHITE ANGLO BROTHER picked strawberry's and cut sod in the summer as a teenager. Is there a shortage of American teenagers that we don't know about, Mr. President? Does an AMERICAN LAW have to be broken 12,000,000 times by AMERICAN BUSINESSMEN to get our food picked and our sod cut? I think not, sir.


As for myself, ANOTHER LAW-ABIDING WHITE ANGLO AMERICAN CITIZEN, I've been a ditch-digger, a landscaper, a lawn-sprinkler installer, part of a constructioin clean-up crew, and a general maintenance man. I've followed the rules and have broken no laws, Mr. President. And I've got very little to show for my hard-working fortitude, other than feeling like a sucker.

The Mexicans immigrants I see on a regular basis (assuming that SOME of them are here illegally, at least some of those who don't speak a lick of English) don't do jobs that Americans won't do, sir. They install carpeting, they work construction jobs and they do landscaping. ALL JOBS THAT AMERICANS WILL DO. I know, because I've done them.

Mr. President, stop lying to the American people and tell us why you and your friends really want illigal Mexican immigrants in this country: Because American Business Owners (from food-growers to Wal Mart) want cheap labor and they don't care if they have to break a few AMERICAN immigration laws to get it.

And THAT'S THE TRUTH, no matter what kind of political spin you want to put on it.

Riffing On The Times 3.28.06

As always, the headlines are taken directly from the NYT but the rest is entirely made-up.
____________________


Bill to Broaden Immigration Law Gains in Senate - Bill to have his head pummeled by law-abiding, working-class Americans if he tries it.

French Youth at the Barricades, but a Revolution? It Can Wait - yeah, at least until someone fool tells them to eat cake.

Iraqi Documents Are Put on Web, and Search Is On - millions of bored amateurs attempt to confuse what experts on the ground have known for years.

Shiite Leaders Suspend Talks Over Government - to pursue suspending Sunnis by their testicles.

Afghan Convert to Christianity Is Released - Muslim clerics declare open season - again.

At Crossroads, Israeli Voters Seem to Wait for a Signal - ...but proceed to accelerate and run over family of Palestinians walking home from work.

Moussaoui Now Ties Himself to 9/11 Plot - and JFK assasination, and MLK assasination, and takes credit for the plan that led to the murder of John Lennon.

Seattle Police and Partygoers Still Puzzle Over Attack - senseless violence, ironically, shakes senseless world.

2 Dismissed From Jury Deciding Case of Politician - you can't buy justice, but injustice always has a price.

Hang it up, Dems.

Dear Democrats,

Your complete and utter failure to support Russel Feingold and his motion to censure presidennt Bush proves you have no courage in your convictions. You're proven useless to working-class Americans and clueless, or worse, indifferent to our needs. If you're supposed to be public servants, you've failed miserably. Waiting for the Republicans to fail AGAIN is no strategy. My guess is they'll recover and you will have lost yet another election. You'd better have a card up your sleeve or this game is over for you - for good.

Signed,

A Lifelong Democrat turned Independent since 2000

Google, Yahoo......Bye, Bye

I've reset my browser preferences and yanked Google and Yahoo from my tab bar. I understand their need and their desire to expand their business for their shareholders, but not at the expense of selling out human beings to oppressive governments. I also understand their argument for incrementalism, that eventually the internet will win out and everthing will be hunky-dory and the blood on their dividends will have faded away. But despite what most of us have been led to believe in this country, there are some things more sacred than cash. Liberty is one of them.

Web Firms Are Grilled on Dealings In China

From now on I'll use Momma.com until I find out something horrible about them too.

Four years later....

One for the "Duh" category if you haven't really been paying close attention to the War In Iraq, what will all those DVD rentals to watch and your favorite t.v. shows and all. I mean, who has time for news?

I hold these truths to be self-evident this week:

• That there will be no limit to the looting of the U.S. treasury for the next three years. Evidence: more tax cuts for the wealthy, more money for the Defense Department (who've done such a *wonderful* job handling the war) and Homeland Security (who've done an equally good job watching our borders), less money for Medicaid and education, the creation of health savings accounts (i.e. "your on your own, pal. Sorry 'bout the cancer."), and skyrocketing deficits to be paid by our children's children's children. So much for fiscal responsibility.
  
  
• The Emperor Wears No Clothes: just because he says spying on Americans without a warrant is legal, doesn't make it true. When he said, "I've earned some political capital and I intend to spend it" - he wasn't kidding. Executive hubris rules the day! To Congress and the Judiciary: You needn't show up for work anymore; the Executive and The Private Sector have got it all under control, thank you very much.
  
  
• Muslims have absolutely no sense of humor: and if any of you do, you forfeit it by the actions of the multitudes in the streets who are burning down buildings and threatening the lives of innocents over a god-damned cartoon. Nobody disputes your right to be offended, just your overrreaction to being offended. While we Americans may be the bully in the global school yard, you're like the spastic kid who eats paste and and smears excrement on the walls. Nobody understands you.

Once again, the little guy loses to the HMO

Backroom Republicans Rape Medicare Windfall

Warrantless Spying OK'd By Gonzales

Having Alberto Gonzales investigate President Bush is like having Jeff Skilling investigate Kenneth Lay.

In the immortal words of Benjamin Franklin, "Those who would trade liberty for security deserve neither."

Here come the goon squads. Just like old times, eh Mao?

I heard a report on NPR this morning that a Republican group operating at UCLA is offering to pay college students $100 to spy on their Liberal professors (known as the "dirty thirty") for 10 weeks and report so-called abuses of their position. It's the groups contention that some professors are either dismissing conservative arguments in class or "brainwashing" their students in order to create like-minded teachers of the future.

The reported spying has had a chlling effect on some professors, who are already censoring themselves in order to avoid drawing fire from the Republican group. Others are defiant. It's unclear what, if any, effect the Republican group's complaints might have on the college's employment practices, but some young professors who haven't yet achieved tenure aren't taking any chances.

It's obvious to me that the intent here is to intimidate left-leaning political speech at Universities. It reminds me of Nixon's enemies list and the CoIntelPro days when Republicans were spying on left-leaning groups and individuals, including fellow politicians, newspaper and magazine staff and, yes, college professors.

Red China's poster-boy, Chairman Mao, was also known to give political rewards to comrades who turned over dirt on their enemies. But over there they could throw liberals in prison or even make them disappear. Republicans can only wish.

Right wing fascism rears its ugly head again in America. The Nazi Youth are alive and well at UCLA.

Congressional Reformatory

In the midst of the latest congressional payola scandal in Washington, California congressman David Dreier claimed today that The Republican Party is "the pary of reform".

Tee hee.

Ha ha.

GuFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAWWWW!


You're kidding us, right?

More like the party most likely to end up in a reformatory.

He also said that his party is in the business of closing loopholes, not opening new ones (How does this guy keep a straight face?).

So I'm supposed to believe that all those CEO's and CFO's who practiced creative accounting with working people's pensions over at Enron and Tyco and WoldCom and a dozen other executive schemers are Democrats, right? Martha Stewart, she must be a Democrat too, eh?

Seriously, Mr. Drier - give us a break. The only thing your party is going to reform is the process you use to cheat.

Every day the Republicans and the Democrats make me glad that I voted for the 1% solution. You're all a bunch of lying crooks.

Ashamed of OUR government

There's so much corruption and political two-stepping going on in the Bush administration and the Republican led congress these days my head is spinning. I can't even keep up with all the sordiid tales, and I'm a politcal junkie. I really never thought I'd see the day our government would sink to such a level. Scary times. It's pretty clear these guys are going to continue to loot the U.S. treasury until there's nothing left, abuse executive power until the constitution bursts into flames, defecate on civil rights and piss on campaign finance laws while simuiltaneously stuffing their pockets with lobby cash and giving the American people the middle finger. I'm ashamed that we haven't marched on Washington yet.

Our government is a disgrace and it's OUR fault.

The Book Of Daniel According To Shitbrick

Apparently, "The Book Of Daniel" has already been targeted as the latest "attack on Christianity" in my small corner of the world. Shitbrick, my hardcore born-again Baptist beast of a co-worker, and I got into a heated argument about this new TV series just before leaving work. That's when we usually do our part to perpetuate the culture wars.

I should mention that neither of us have actually seen a single episode of "The Book of Daniel", but that didn''t stop us from regurgitating the positions we've absorbed from our respective radio stations; his, Bob Dutko (pronounced Doo-Ko) on the Christian controlled WMUZ "The Light", and mine, a daily dose of secular reasoning on NPR.

Shitbrick contends that "The Book of Daniel" is basically blasphemy (my word not his, but you get the idea) and shouldn't be allowed on the air. He's particularly offended by the reported depiction of Jesus Christ who talks casually with Daniel, a troubled episcopal priest. In fact, Shitbrick actually used the phrase "hippie-dippy" to describe how Jesus is being portrayed. He argued that this fictional depiction of Jesus will confuse viewers of lesser intellect and that if "they" (NBC I presume) want to depict Jesus Christ then they should only do so as he is described in the bible.

I argued that, in this tv show, Jesus is basically portrayed as Daniel's religious conscience and represents his "personal relationship with God", probably much in the same way members of his congregation have personal dialogues with Jesus every day. It's Jesus as Daniel relates to him, not Jesus in a historical context.

But he wasn't having any of it. Jesus should only be portrayed as he is by "the word", and not as Aidan Quinn's personal hippie, confusing the masses about who Jesus really was.

That's when I kinda lost it. I told him I didn't think NBC were the only ones confused about who Jesus really was. In particular, I told him that I had a real problem with hunters who profess be devoted to Christ and his teachings. WWJD indeed. I can't imagine the son of God, sometimes referred to as "the lamb", cutting the throat of same said animal for any purpose, let alone for the sport of it. I also have a problem with pro-war Christians who seem offended by people who want to stop all this senseless killing. Is that how "The Prince of Peace" would act? Would Jesus have a blood-lust for killing Muslims, even if they aren't the same ones who attacked us? Would The Messiah who taught us to "turn the other cheek" start a pre-emptive war and argue that it's a defensive position? Those hypocritical arguments only seem to makes sense to Christians extremists who repeatedly profess to being attacked by the secular world, when it's they who are always on the offensive. "The Book of Daniel" debacle is only the latest example of this bizarre phenomena.

Getting back to the subject of the tv show, I argued that Christians can't and don't control the context in which Jesus is discussed, especially when it comes to an artistic depiction or a dramatic portrayal in a free society with a first amendment.

"That isn't art, " Shitbrick said with disdain. "And yes, this is a free democracy, and in this free democracy Christians are the majority. And majority rules."

"And in this so-called free society we're supposed to have built-in protections from the tyranny of the majority, " I retorted. " And this art is protected free speech no matter how loud the Christians complain!" I demanded.

"But it isn't art!" he boomed louder, as if volume wins arguments. His voice reverberated off the block walls and glass panes in the warehouse, lending sonic weight to his bluster. "Art is the photos I see in National Geographic or the beautiful paintings of scenery I see at a museum," he said with a flowing gesticulation of his hand, as if stroking the beauty of some imaginary country setting. "Art's not a television show that promotes filth at family hour."

I swear I could see smoke trail from his nostrils at this point. But I refused to back down. I've listened to enough of this self-righteous drivel without speaking up.

"This isn't filth," I protested. "It's a fictional drama of a priest who's struggling with his faith! It's about his personal jihad against his own faults!" I piqued him. "How could that offend you?"

"Yeah, a priest who pops pills, who's daughter is selling drugs, whose wife is having an affair, and with gays and everything else disgusting in it!"

"Look at what happened to the Catholic Church. Are you trying to tell me there are no episcopal priests who struggle with their faith and argue with Jesus. It's realistic," I argued. "Hell, you tell me stories about your fellow parishoners that are worse than that!"

One of them, he told me not long ago, had gotten high and fallen asleep on top of her newborn baby, accidentally suffocating the child. After something like that, there's only two options; suicide or salvation. She chose salvation. The pews were filled with these kind of personal tragedies.

"Do you why I know that The Book of Daniel is art?" I paused just long enough for his face to turn a darker shade of red . "I know it's art because we're arguing about it right now - and that's what good art does; it makes you think about the world you live in and question your own conclusions about it."

Unbelievably, Shitbrick argued that art wasn't meant to provoke thought. Not a surprising argument from a hardcore, born-again Christian. After all, these are the same puritans who repeatedly burned books and other works of art over the centuries, and who I'm sure wouldn't have any problem burning DVDs - or the people who produce them.

So as far as Shitbrick is concerned, only Christians should be allowed to tell stories involving Jesus - an only then strictly following "the word". He also argued that if the same type of "artistic portrayal" of Mohammed or The Koran were done in prime time, there would be hell to pay from the muslims, you can bet on it. So Christians have every right to complain about portrayals of Jesus Christ and you can bet they will.

I reminded him that some Muslims tried to abolish a work of art by threatening the life of it's author. A fatwa was issued against Salmon Rushdie back in the eighties when he wrote "The Satanic Verses". They wanted to control the argument too, even if that meant killing the author.

"Well, I guess he shouldn't have been writing about Islam then, should he?" Shitbrick said, satisfied with himself. "Besides, Christians aren't threatening to kill anybody over The Book of Daniel."

"Not yet," I said.

Riffing On The Times: January 6, 2006

Haven't done one of these in a while, but if you're not hip, the following headlines are taken directly from The New York Times online edition, but the subheads are entirely made up. Just for a bit of fun.


TOP STORIES

Iraq Facing Hurdles, U.S. General Warns

- New low-cost war tactic puts Iraqis on path of obstruction.

U.S. Is Hoping Israelis Keep Sharon's Plan a Top Priority

- U.S. recommends "more breathing and less bleeding".

Lobbyist's Downfall Leads to Charities' Windfall

- Several congressmen offer definitive proof their corruption is good for the poor.


INTERNATIONAL

Sharon in Coma; New Party Faces a Crucial Test

Party goers wonder now who's driving past the fence to get more beer?

Afghan Suicide Bomber Strikes in Town During U.S. Envoy's Visit

Nobody thought tall, hairy dog was a real threat.

Iran's Nuclear Team Fails to Keep a Date With the U.N.

Secretary General threatens to date Nortth Koreans instead.

NATIONAL

Coal Miners' Notes of Goodbye, and Questions on a Blast's Cause

Despite miner's last requests and record profits last quarter, Energy companies say miner-family discounts just not doable.

Corruption Scandal Loosening Mayor Daley's Grip on Chicago

Dirty money makes city slicker.

My Heating Bill Doubles, Rich People Get Tax Cut

I live in a single-wide trailer (some people feel better calling it Manufactured Home - whatever). It's not a home really, not in that American Dream sort of way. No, a trailer is more like a container for keeping the working-class fresh, just in case anybody needs some dirty work done. But it's a roof and shit could be worse I always tell myself. What else could I tell myself?

My heating bill for January 06 DOUBLED from that of December '05. FUCK! Time to cancel cable - bunch of useless bullshit on TV anyway - except for CSPAN. I dig CSPAN. (shhhh - if they find out the working class are actually being informed by their tv's congress will let their lobbyists write laws against that too. ) Yeah, I know they warned me about the hike in energy prices - doesn't make it any better though. And gasoline just went up again too. Why do energy prices keep going up? Because they can, that's why (probably part of the secret energy deal pre-Iraq war). The energy companies are enjoying record profits, jobs are flying out of the country and my pay raises haven't kept pace with inflation for the last four years. But I'm still working. 500 engineers from GM can't say that as of yesterday.

I read the day before yesterday that the Bush administration gave 47 Billion dollars in tax cuts to people earning over $200,000 a year and it just took effect in January 06. That's after they cut medicaid, medicare, college tuition assistance and even the budget of the National Institute of Health (first time since 1970) when everyone's terrified of a possible coming flu pandemic. Un-Fucking-Believable.

It's pretty clear these motherfuckers in Washington don't have our back. Hope they're not counting on us having theirs.

Oh, and the next time I see a fucking BMW parked on the sidewalk at Wal*Mart I'm going to spit on it. And I'm just getting over a cold.

Metaphorical Airplane Back To Sanity

I woke up with this metaphor in my head. I think it's about the reasons I ddn't call my "best friend" at all during the holidays. Not Thanksgiving. Not Christmas. Not New Years Eve. It's quite possible I may never call him again.


So you're on a passenger plane with about twenty other people. Destination: The Rest Of Your Life.

Your "best friend" is the pilot and somewhere along your trip you notice the plane has gone slightly off-course. Nobody else seems to notice so you keep it to yourself, figuring once he realizes his mistake he'll make the needed correction and the trip will go pretty much as planned. But after a while, he still hasn't fixed the mistake and the plane continues to travel further from its presumed destination.

So you walk up to the cockpit and casually mention to the pilot that his plane has been going slightly off-course for a while now and that if he plans to get his passengers even close to their intended destination he'd better make a correction soon. But instead of taking your concern seriously, he takes offense and tells you he knows how to fly a plane, thank you very much.

You're tempted to bring up his previous "accidents" (ones that only you know about), but before you can, he tells you that his course change was intentional. He says the "straight and narrow" flight plan is boring and predictable and he's just taking the scenic route. He says not to worry and that you should relax and just enjoy the ride. Since he's your "best friend" and you're supposed to be his, you decide to trust him and go sit down.

But as the scenery below changes radically, the other passengers on the plane begin to protest. This isn't the trip they were expecting - not even close. You try to reassure them by saying you've spoken to the pilot personally and he assured you he knows his destination and is merely taking the scenic route. But the other passengers aren't convinced, and either are you as you notice the plane is flying dangerously close to a mountain.

You decide to go back to the cockpit and tell your "best friend" that, despite his explanation, the other passengers are becoming frightened. Again, he insists he knows what he's doing and can handle his aircraft.

Suddenly, you hear a gut-wrenching thud and realize the plane has clipped a mountain goat, damaging one of the rear stabilizers. The aircraft is pitching up and down rapidly, as if it's jumping a series of small waves. You can hear the passengers back in the cabin screaming for their lives.

Incredibly, the pilot has let go of the stick and screams, "Woo Hoo! Can you feel that? It's like surfing the clouds. What a r-r-r-r-rush!"

You plead with him to take control of his aircraft, and since he's your "best friend" and you look genuinely frightened, he finally does. He apologizes and does his best to control the plane's pitch until all you can feel is an unsettling vibration. It's not smooth, but it doesn't feel life-threatening anymore. He guides the plane to a safe altitude and heads back towards home.

At some point during the flight back, the other passengers begin to talk amongst themselves. They realize, after comparing notes, that this isn't the first time this pilot has had trouble flying. And as soon as the plane reaches familiar territory, you're quite surprised to see them risk parachuting to the ground before they reach their final destination. "Well, that's going a bit far," you say to an empty cabin.

You go back to the cockpit and tell your "best friend" that the other passengers have jumped ship.

"Good riddance!" he says. "Now we can have some real fun."

"That doesn't bother you?" you ask.

"Nah, they probably found out about the landing gear," he says casually.

"What do you mean? What about the landing gear?"

"It hasn't been working right," he mentions.

"Why didn't you tell me that before we took off?" you ask incredulously.

"I didn't think you'd come along," he says. "Stop worrying so much. Besides, who wants be well-grounded when you can fly free? It's so much more liberating."

You remind him that, eventually, he's going to run out of fuel and have to land his plane no matter what - and that he could end up so far from home he'll never make it back.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll get there," he says dismissively, just before he yanks on the stick and turns the plane back towards the treacherous mountain range.

You know you should jump out, just like the other passengers, but being his "best friend" you also know that you're supposed to be there when everybody else has abandoned him. You steel yourself for a bumpy ride and an even bumpier landing.

Somewhere high among the jagged mountains you hear one of the engines sputter. When you ask about it, your "best friend" mentions that it's been acting up for a couple of weeks. You don't even ask why he didn't tell you until now. You just shake your head and look at the floor.

For the first time you clutch your parachute. But your "best friend" is calm and even appears happy, despite the fact that his plane is vibrating badly from a damaged stabilizer, the landing gear is questionable, and one of his engines is sputtering.

Then it happens again - just like you knew it would. Another gut-wrenching thud, but this time it's much worse than before. One of the jagged mountain peaks has torn off half the right wing and the plane has gone into a fatal spiral.

You quickly put on your parachute and prepare to jump out of the doomed airplane. When you look for your "best friend", expecting him to be right behind you, you're floored by what you see. He's not putting on his parachute at all, but carefully pouring himself a drink as the plane spirals out of control. When you scream at him to put on his parachute and jump, he just looks at you dumbly, as if you're speaking another language.

Finally, you jump off his plane and land in a place you wouldn't even visit, but you're relatively safe. Your "best friend" is still spiraling perilously overhead, and for a brief moment, you fantasize about catching him, plane and all, to save him from his fate. But instead you return to sanity, say a prayer, and step out of the way.


January 1, 2006